


A Lesson in Vulnerability

by epaynter



Series: A Collection of Unrelated Prompts for a Captain, his Professor, and their Detective [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Beginnings, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Canon, Prompt Fic, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23289367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epaynter/pseuds/epaynter
Summary: A week after their fifth date, Kevin is still almost all Raymond can think about. Which is why when Kevin asks to meet with him in person to discuss something that he cannot talk about over the phone, Raymond is beside himself in dread.
Relationships: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: A Collection of Unrelated Prompts for a Captain, his Professor, and their Detective [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674865
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	A Lesson in Vulnerability

A week after their fifth date, Kevin is still almost all Raymond can think about. _Still_. He had been thinking about him regularly since the initial phone call, occupying an absurd amount of his space in his mind that should’ve been more thoroughly dedicated to other necessities in daily life (besting Madeline Wuntch, career advancement opportunities, open cases, coming up with insults to decimate Madeline Wuntch, putting punks behind bars, and so on- the mental list was enormous) instead of behaving like a smitten teenager, and there was little he could do to stop the progression of his thoughts. They wandered and seem to find themselves circling the same orbit since that day.

No one had derailed him in this manner before. He is in new territory, inexperienced with the intensity of his interest, as the most _feeling_ he had ever felt with any other man prior to this was a moderately strong sense of contentment. He didn’t think that then, obviously, he had believed it to be something much stronger than it was.

 _It really only takes one individual to call your own beliefs into question_ , he thinks. The idea that there is one person out there for another had seemed farfetched, the only factual point in the concept was the high probability of finding a compatible personality and lifestyle in another subject of the same species for said person. Falling in love, _true love or whatever the embellishment was_ , had presented itself as unlikely and tedious. He had been confident in his assessment on this even during his longest relationships.

_No person should have a piece of yourself because it is a liability._

_Bzzzrt._

_"Hello, Detective Raymond Holt? It’s me, Kevin Cozner."_

Needless to say, his confidence on the subject had taken a hit since then.

"Good evening, Kevin. I’ve hit the buzzer for your entry and the door is unlocked."

_"Thank you, I’ll be right there."_

He paces from the intercom back into the living room and sits down in his armchair. Kevin had called him the night prior, and they had talked for nearly two hours before there had been a shift in his demeanor, stating that he wanted to meet and discuss something important. Something that shouldn’t be discussed over the phone, as it were.

Raymond had told him the following evening would be suitable and they were both in agreement. When the call ended, he had experienced another relatively newer emotion in relation to romance: foreboding.

He hears the door open softly and close quickly in the same manner. He breathes in deeply.

"Raymond?"

There are points in his past relationships where he can remember when he knew they had nearly reached their conclusion, all on the basis of a mutual agreement even Frederick (although mutual, it was definitely _not_ amicable), and he can’t recall a time when he felt anything but relief at the closure. Of course, he had always been the one to initiate any mutual breakup he had previously experienced so that might have played a role. He isn’t sure this is a breakup, at least he is trying to avoid the train of thought (he is doing a horrible damn job at it) that would convince him otherwise, however, he doubts it is a good sign.

"I’m in the living room."

A vague conversation, required to be in-person, requested by your newly established significant other rarely is.

He is drinking scotch because he forgot to buy a bottle of pinot grigio on his way home from the precinct. He isn’t sure if it is Kevin’s favorite white wine- only that Kevin had chosen it on over a sauvignon blanc on their second date- he hadn’t a chance to find out with certainty. Raymond hadn’t even checked to make sure his mustache is adequately trimmed; he is far too affected by this and it is as miserable as it is unfamiliar.

"Hello," Kevin is here, several feet in front of him, wearing black and white formal dress attire with an endearing black bowtie, looking flushed, "I’m sorry for the getup. I was at the-"

"-opera. I can infer that, obviously," Raymond replies. What he can’t infer is with _whom_ and his stomach turns a bit in its anticipation. _If_ there had been anyone- he is getting ahead of himself, "What did you want to discuss?"

"Well," Kevin begins. He is nervously curling and uncurling his fingers with his arms at his sides, "There is something that I thought was a given since our first date but the more I mulled it over, the more I realized that I might have been assuming. So, I needed to clear it up before this goes any further because I’m already far too…"

He trails off and breathes in.

"Are we exclusive, Raymond?" Kevin asks, "Because I have replayed, in detail, every single conversation we have had on repeat in my head trying to find evidence that we have discussed it, even in passing, but I can’t recall it. And last night, you were talking so fondly of the charming prosecutor with an incredible brain you met working your most recent case- and yes, god knows, I’m jealous- but that isn’t the issue. I can’t be with you if I’m not the only one for you in every sense. My heart can’t take it."

Raymond watches him. The svelte, vulnerable academic with his ever logical heart in his hands and his own beats in tandem.

He has _never_ uttered such sentimental drivel before but he has also never felt _this goddamn grateful_. There is so much to learn about him, it is dizzying. No amount of years he had spent in prior relationships could have prepared him for the intensity of this emotion.

"We are. I also can’t stand the idea of you with anyone else. Hence why I asked you cover the name of your previous partners with a sticky note when we shared our medical documents despite claiming it to be solely out of respect for their privacy," He finally responds after what must have felt an agonizing eternity. Unintentional, of course, the man had a knack for rendering him incoherent in speech and other ways as well, "Pinot grigio or sauvignon blanc?"

Kevin shrugs out of his blazer, draping it over the couch beside him, and walks over to the armchair that Raymond currently occupies, "Pinot."

 _The average person would have looked me like a lunatic,_ Raymond thinks, _and you answer without hesitation nor agitation. Do you know how wonderful that is?_

"You went alone to the opera," He observes.

"I thought it would be a useful distraction," Kevin admits as he runs his fingers through Raymond’s dark curls, "Also, I have yet to find anyone who doesn’t whisper through the instrumentals. I mean, they are-"

"-just as important as the vocals. I’m in complete agreement," Raymond has never been so enthralled as he begins to undo the buttons of Kevin’s vest, "As a side note, I have no interest in the charming prosecutor I previously spoke of, however, your possessiveness interests me greatly."

"I said jealous, not possessive," Kevin retorts with, Raymond is beginning to learn, a signature raised eyebrow, "They are two very different things."

"Noted," _God, what a maddening, intoxicating man he is,_ "It interests me because I thought you were potentially coming here to break up with me and I was beside myself at the idea of losing you so quickly."

"You thought…I was here to break up with you?"

"Yes," Raymond admits, "Hadn’t entirely convinced myself of it as _it is illogical_ , given that you seemed nothing but satisfied with me as a romantic partner, but I was worried."

Perhaps he is willing to learn to give a piece of himself even if it means creating a liability.

Kevin smiles, with both hands now curled into his full hair, "I suppose we can chalk this up to our first misunderstanding then."

"And since you are here now," Raymond baritones, "I can think of an activity or two that might take our minds off the subject, if interested."

"I’m all yours, detective."

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous prompt: ‘I would love to see Holt and Kevin when they first met/were younger.’
> 
> I decided to go with 'when they were younger' so I hope this scratches that itch all the same, anon!


End file.
